I am typically a very optimistic and positive type of folk.
But lately there's been no balance in my life. And that's not me.
Work. More work. No walks. No exercise. No real feeling of accomplishment other than not falling off of a mental treadmill. Lots of trying. Hamster-wheeling. More trying. Reflecting. Action planning. Susan-What-Are-You-Doing self-chats.
So I went on a walk today. You know how when you get a new car, and you notice that kind of car wherever you go, for weeks?
I noticed signs on my walk. Signs.
OK, universe, I get it, not too subtle on your part.
Two "No Outlet" signs. Yep. That's accurate. Thanks, universe.
A "walker" sign, with an arrow. A mindless, neutral, robotic walker on a sign. Yep. Accurate.
I was starting to understand that this walk was trying to yell at me.
Don't worry, I also noticed beauty. Everywhere.
But what struck me as the perfect analogy for my brain was a bunch of stormdrain leaves, all crammed and forced and mashed together. Sure, there is a sort of beauty there, but mostly I saw a lack of intention.
And lastly, an arrow pointing at a curb. I likened it to beating my head against a wall. Lookie here, look, nothing!
I am big on taking responsibility. I have been having a lot of WTF moments.
Year three of trying to facilitate a new program at my school. This week, a team meeting where blank stares were the predominant feature. Where people did not do things that they were supposed to do. Simple things. Team things. "I am a part of something" things. That they had agreed to do. Phoning it in.
Clearly, I am doing something wrong.
So, I reflect. Why am I so dissatisfied?
My goals have been changed by #ccourses. I now expect people to want to connect. To thrive on connecting. To make time to connect. To think and research and have fun sharing ideas.
#Ccourses has ruined me. There's no going back.
I love this course, but am I better at getting other people to want to do this connection thing? Apparently, no. I have modeled, and encouraged, and cheered and all that.
So, I go back to my question from a couple of months ago - how do I create a connected experience for people who are satisfied with boxed macaroni and cheese?